Monday, November 26, 2012

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Can we please just take a moment to reflect on the fact that it is officially the Christmas / Holiday season?  Take a deep breath in through the nose; you can almost smell the baked goods and Christmas cheer.  Okay, the cheer is a very faint smell.  You may not actually be able to smell cheer.  But the baked goods!  You can totally almost smell baked goods.
Baby tree is up, gifts are wrapped, life is good.

This is one of my big cliché things, I just love Christmastime.  I like decorating.  I get a freakish high from finding the perfect gifts for people.  The music makes me smile.  I love the festive food.  I donate to the bell ringers at the grocery store.  I’m tempted to smell pine even though it destroys my sinuses.  I’ll watch Elf, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and The Santa Clause at least once apiece, likely more.  I will go to Christmas Eve service with my grandma and wear one of her funny Christmas sweaters for the occasion.  And since I’m no longer in school, and I don’t really have plans for Christmas day because I suddenly got old and my whole family won’t be in town on that day so we moved it to a different day, this year I will finally sit down and read all of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol on Christmas!     

Frankly, I could not be more excited about that last thing.  It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years but I always have felt like I was too busy or had too much to do.

That’s really all I’ve got, I just needed to share my yuletide joy with the world. 

Friday, November 16, 2012

Why Genie in Aladdin is Kind of an Ass

I think it’s safe to say that most people born in my generation in the English speaking world have seen the Disney movie Aladdin.  For those who haven’t, here’s a brief summary:

Orphan “street rat” meets disgruntled princess on the run from royal life.  Street rat (from now on known as Aladdin) gets put in jail where he meets creepy old man who is actually bad guy in disguise.  Bad guy wants a lamp from the “Cave of Wonders” so he enlists Aladdin’s help.  Bad guy double crosses Aladdin and Aladdin ends up stuck in a cavern in the ground.  Luckily Aladdin’s pet monkey has stolen lamp from bad guy.  Lamp contains Genie.  Genie helps Aladdin to woo the princess and things are going good until all the lies come crashing down around him.  Enter final battle sequence.  Good triumphs over evil and they all live happily ever after.

So you get the gist.  But what I want to talk about something that has bothered me, literally, for years.  When Aladdin first rubs the lamp Genie comes out and sings his little genie song which begins with the line, “Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves…”

Let’s fast forward now.  While I know it is less likely that people will have seen the third Aladdin movie (Aladdin and the King of Thieves) that is where my frustration stems from.  For those who have, you may be making the connection.      

The most important fact from this movie is that Aladdin finally meets his dad.  How does he meet his dad you ask?  Well, he and his 40 thieves crash Aladdin and Jasmine’s wedding. 

Scumbag Genie
That’s right; Aladdin’s dad is the king of thieves.  The same thieves that Genie sang about all those movies ago.  I just don’t get why Genie would not tell Aladdin that his dad was the king of thieves!  That seems so very mean! And I mean yeah, they call him “Cassim” in the movie but he’s totally Ali Baba.  Why else would Aladdin have chosen the pseudonym Prince Ali?  It was all there, in his subconscious.  The whole time. 

I just think it was a jerk move on the part of Genie, he totally should have told Aladdin where his dad was in the first movie, it could have saved him a lot of trouble I’m sure. 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Things I Want For Christmas

So my friends and family have a handy resource.

1. A TV that is bigger than my computer monitor at work.  My current one is not and it is a source of constant mocking. (Thanks Dad!)

2. A dog who is normal and does not constantly eat my apples.

3. World peace.

4. This Jacket in Premier Purple (Probably a large).

5. A good set of kitchen knives.

6. These toe socks to go with my toe shoes.

7. A bigger apartment so all my books will fit.

8. A tea pot. (Thanks Grandma!)

9. $1,000,000 in small bills.

10. A record player.

11. Coordination and/or gracefulness.

12. Matthew Gray Gubler.

13. A pair of 5 lb. free weights. (Thanks Gretchen!)

14. A soul mate.

15. Some of those weird pills that swap your taste buds around so sour things taste sweet. 

16. Andy Warhol wall art.  Framed, canvas print, etc.

17. A teacup pig.

18. The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories: Volume 2 (Thanks Toby!)

19. A few floating bookshelves.

20.  UO Dot Leaves Duvet Cover full / queen size.

21.  Reclaimed Card Catalog Organizer Cabinet

22.  Reclaimed Wood Card Catalog Shelf

23.  Little Boxes Wall Organizer

24.  Tiered Teak Shelf (Thanks Nikita!)

25. Elements 8-Inch/10-Inch/12-Inch Ceramic Candlestands, Purple (Thanks total lack of self control!)

26. Any of the following grown-up bags:

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I work out?

I’m currently attempting to make healthier life choices.  Since it seems like a thing lots of blogs do I thought I’d do a post about some of my favorite songs to work out to.  I like to think it’s a good mix of new, old, and interesting.  Much like Barney Stinsons’s “Get Psyched” mix, my work out music is basically all upbeat.  Enjoy.

1. Out of My Mind - B.o.B ft. Nicki Minaj
2. You’re Gonna Go Far Kid – The Offspring
3. Sexyback – Justin Timberlake
4. Blow – Ke$ha
5. The Fame – Lady Gaga
6. Rock Your Body – Justin Timberlake
7. Erase Me – Kid Kudi ft. Kanye West
8. Animal Baby – Alex Winston (Could not find it on youtube, sorry!)
9. Starry Eyed – Ellie Goulding
10. Turn Me On – David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj
11. Kill Your Heroes – AWOLNATION
12. Sugarcoat – Breaking Benjamin
13. Moan – Cute Is What We Aim For
14. Stricken – Disturbed
15. One of the Boys – Katy Perry
16. Broken Hearts – Kito & Reija Lee
17. Just a Girl – No Doubt
18. My Medicine – The Pretty Reckless
19. Savior – Rise Against
20. All the Things She Said – T.A.T.U. 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

My Amazon Addiction OR Why I Hate Paying Shipping Costs

Hello, my name is Kyley and I am addicted to online shopping.

But seriously, I think I might have a problem.  I’m blaming it (primarily) on my Amazon prime account.  If you don’t have an Amazon prime account you may not be able to imagine how much stronger the temptation to buy things is.  You basically NEVER have to pay shipping.  No shipping!  It’s so easy to just click, buy, and in two days someone BRINGS IT TO YOUR FRONT DOOR.

Pretty typical cart size.  But not really.  I'm not there yet. 
It’s freaking unprecedented!  I’m not even bothered to minimize my number of orders because it literally does not matter!  The only good things I can come up with about this whole situation are 1) My Christmas shopping is basically done and I've barely left my apartment.  And 2) I’m more selective about my other online shopping because I go through the internal thought process of, “Why do I have to pay shipping?  I don’t want to pay shipping.  I don’t need this.”

That said, I still have a problem.  I buy way more than the average person does on Amazon.  The people in the leasing office have noticed how often I get packages.  The worst part?  Sometimes the UPS man leaves them at my door.  AKA the leasing office only knows about a portion of my addiction! 

And in case you're wondering what brought on this diatribe, it's that I just bought something on Amazon that was not "prime eligible," meaning I had to pay shipping.  It still cost significantly less than it would have in a store, but I hesitated because of that shipping cost.  I am spoiled.  First. World. Problems.

In other news I’m contemplating just promising my first born to Amazon in exchange for unlimited buying power.  That’s fair, right? 

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Alphabetical Advice

So I stumbled across a website of writing prompts this morning and some of them are just great!  For example, I will be tackling the one described in that picture to the right.  I saw it and my mind said, “Challenge accepted!”  Most are sincere but some of my advice may be sarcastic and/or satirical, it’s just my way.

A. Admit when you are wrong.

B. Blame it on the cat.

C. Concentrate on the now.

D. Don’t regret anything that once made you happy.

E. Enunciate when you speak.

F. Flimsy chairs are dangerous.

G. Growing old does not have to mean growing up; remember that.

H. Hold your nose when you do a cannonball.

I. Ignore the awkward itch if you are in public.

J. Juxtapose only when necessary.

K. Kindness is key.

L. Love indiscriminately.

M. Move on when the situation calls for it.

N. Notice the little things.

O. Open your eyes to all the world has to offer.

P. Push your own limits.

Q. Quench your thirst for adventure.

R. Read; anything and everything.

S. Smile at strangers.

T. Tell people how you feel.

U. Understand that people are different.

V. Visit faraway places.

W. Wonder.

X. X-Ray bones you think are broken.

Y. Yearn for something more, don’t get complacent.

Z. Zealously attack life.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

4 Websites I’m In Serious Like With

1. The Bloggess- Oh how I love this blog.  Am I original for being enamored with it?  No, not really.  But I love it nonetheless.  Full of wonderful posts about dead animals and conversations between a man and wife that make me believe in love more than any romance novel ever will, this site brightens my life on a semi-regular basis.

2. I Waste So Much Time – This site is the reason I know all the memes and everything else happening on the internet.  It’s called “I waste so much time” but really, I think it saves me time by packaging all the internet up into a nice little box that I can open at my leisure.

3. Anonymous Doc – I blame my love of this site on the fact that I know over 20 pharmacists.  Anyway, this is a blog written by a medical resident (I think he may be a fellow now) and it details the many wonderful interactions he has with patients and other hospital staff.  You don’t need a lot of medical knowledge to understand most of it either, so don’t be intimidated. 

4. Luckyshirt - He's just funny.  My favorite posts are when he rants about things and the conversations he has with his children.  Also, I told him once on Twitter that we were getting married and he agreed.  Our wedding is going to be in space.  Be jealous.