Monday, July 30, 2012

We Used to be in Love

I think I’m breaking up with Google.  In particular with Google maps.  In even more particular the “street view” of Google maps.  We used to be in love.  Things were just perfect, we always understood each other.  Google maps had my back and I touted it’s awesomeness to everyone I knew.  Not anymore though.  I used to agree with The Lonely Island that “Googlemaps is the best, true that, double true.”  But then Google maps betrayed me.

All I wanted for lunch today was some of those new KFC chicken bite things they’re advertising the crap out of (which opens up a whole different annoyance, why am I so susceptible to advertising?  As a marketer, should I not be immune?  But I digress...) and some delicious mashed potatoes.  So, being the tech savvy girl that I am I went to Google maps to find the nearest location.  I checked the street view so I’d be able to recognize the landmarks near it.  Armed with only my car, wit, and full faith in Google maps I set out from the office.

I get to where the KFC is supposed to be to see an empty building.  No signs telling me what it is.  Nothing.  Only the telltale design informing me that there was once a KFC in the location.  Google maps showed me a thriving business!  There were signs on Google maps, none in real life.  There was hope on Google maps, none in real life.  None at all.

I was forced to go to McDonald’s because it was the other close restaurant where I could get a reasonable facsimile of chicken.  It was just so bad.  My belly is sad and so is my soul.  We had such a beautiful thing Google, why’d you do this to me?  

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Things You Should Really Stop Doing

If you are a regular reader of my blog you may remember a past post titled, “Things That Annoy Me” which was, quite simply, a list of things that I find annoying.  As a sort of companion piece, I now give you “Things You Should Really Stop Doing.”  Read, learn, and enjoy.  Also, please note these things are directed at mankind in general (myself included) not a specific person. 

1. Saying “irregardless.”  The word is regardless, there is no “ir” before it.  Stop saying that, you sound iruneducated.

2. Being perpetually contrary.  Seriously, I know some people who I think are borderline bipolar with the way they will flip-flop their opinions in order to be able to contradict someone else. That’s a character flaw, rectify it.

3. I’ve been guilty of this one; that doesn’t make it any less something we should all stop.  Singing along to songs you don’t actually know the words to.  A couple of my favorite people in the world are also offenders here.  A message to them, me, and the world, it’s got to stop.

4. This one is a total pipe dream but… yawning in public.  Do you even realize what you just started?

5. Leaving your dog’s poo on the ground.  I’ve recently learned this is common practice, not just something that happens in my apartment complex.  Really people, really? 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Summer Reading: My Top 10 Suggestions

1. I Suck at Girls by Justin Halpern – This is the same guy who wrote Sh*t My Dad Says (which you should also read if you haven’t yet) it’s hysterical and awesome.

2. Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher – It’s a little heavy but such a good read.  It will stick with you for a little while after you read it.

3. Kissing in Manhattan by David Schickler – A series of interconnected short stories, excellent.

4. A Dirty Job: A Novel by Christopher Moore – A very funny page-turner.

5. Beauty Queens by Libba Bray – It’s a book about supermodels that get stuck on a desert island, how could it be bad?

6. Hourglass by Myra McEntire – Love, deceit, and time travel, what more could you want in a book?

7. She Went All the Way by Meg Cabot - It’s basically a romantic comedy but in book form.

8. The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win YourInner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield and Shawn Coyne – I had to read this for a class once, it’s pretty awesome.  It’s basically a book about how to get stuff done.

9. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through theLooking-Glass by Lewis Carroll – It’s what I imagine reading an acid trip would be like, in the best possible way.

10. Coraline by Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean – A quick and spooky read! 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Meet Bo.

Hello World! This is Bo.  He is a somewhat new addition to my life.  I rescued him from the humane society a few weeks ago and we have been buds since about a week into my owning him.  (He’s super shy so it took some time for him to acclimate to his new life.)  He’s a mutt with hound in him and he is the most absurdly deceptive animal I have ever known.

When I got him he was shy and quiet and since then he has become what I can only call “bat shit crazy.”  Note the photo to the left.  That’s him leaning his head backwards over the ottoman he was laying on.  About 3 seconds later he leaned too far and fell off.  It was awesome.

His favorite game is called “go bonkers,” and basically involves him getting down on his haunches until I move, at which point he tears off and does a few laps around the apartment.  His most favorite things are belly rubs, milk bones, and his purple cheetah stuffy (which no longer has ears).

I kinda like him.    

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

A Day in the Life: Hitting the Afternoon Wall

This has become a regular part of my life and I’ve got to say it’s getting old.  It seems that about every day between 2 and 4 p.m. I totally crash.  My productivity lapses, my eyes get heavy, and really all I want to do is sleep.  I’ve tried several of the “tricks” to overcome this phenomenon.  I brush my teeth.  I walk around the office.  I drink more caffeine.  I listen to pop music.  I slay dragons. Nothing.

Any advice on how to beat this? Maybe I should just start trying to get to work at 7 so I can leave by 4.  I suppose that could be a good plan.  In that case, any advice on how to make myself get out of bed early enough to get to work by 7?  Oh woe is me…

 Also, helloooooo interns.  : ]