Friday, March 15, 2013

Absurdity might be Hereditary

Sisterly Love folks.
Sleep doesn’t appear to want to make its way into the cards tonight.  This is quite annoying but I decided to try to make the best of a lousy situation by blogging.  My sister and I frequently have amusing conversations and recently there have been several.  I’d like to share a few with you now…

Nikita: I just passed the most bodacious sign!
Me: What?  What was it for?
Nikita: It wasn’t what it was for, it was what it said, it was just super bodacious.
Me: I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
Nikita: Yes it does! The sign made a bold statement, it was bodacious!
Me: Pretty sure you mean audacious.
Nikita: No, it was bodacious.
Me: Generally billboards aren’t bodacious, asses are, but not billboards.  You know, like "good gracious ass is bodacious!" 
Nikita: No, this sign was bodacious.
Me: I think you are very confused.

Nikita: I don’t think I have any milk.
Me: That’s a bummer.
Nikita: Yeah, I was just looking at all this cereal I have and thinking I should eat some but I don’t have any milk.
Me: It’s a shame because that’s not really something you can substitute…
Nikita: It’s really not.  I’m going to eat a cosmic brownie.
Me: Thaaaat’s the healthy alternative.
Nikita: I know.

Me: You know Heritage has a location in North Carolina.
Nikita: See, if I move here you totally could too!
Me: I think it's in Coolidge.
Nikita: Is that near Chapel Hill?
Me: No... because that's our Arizona location, dumb. I meant Charlotte.
Nikita: That's not close to Chapel Hill... But it is closer to Chapel Hill than Indianapolis.
Me: Very True.
Nikita: Plus, how will our holiday plan ever work if you don't live in the same state as me?
Me: Why is is my responsibility to relocate to the state you choose?
Nikita: Becau-... Yeah, I was going to try to come up with a reason but I've got nothing.

Nikita: I don't want to check to see if there are clothes in my dryer.
Me: Why not?
Nikita: I don't want to fold them.
Me: Ohhh, so this is like a Schrödinger's cat sort of situation and you don't want to have to clean up a dead cat?
Nikita: Not exactly because the cat might not be in there.
Me: Like maybe Schrödinger set up the whole experiment but forgot the most important variable?  Damn that Schrödinger, he always messes things up.  Like his assistants would be all "Are you kidding me with this? You forgot to put the cat in the box?  What the hell, guy?"

*Dryer opening sounds*

Nikita: Crap.
Me: Dead cat? 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Things that Downright Baffle Me

Occasionally in my daily life I encounter things that I find “downright baffling,” today I’d like to tell you about a couple of them.

1. Having “friends” on Facebook who are complete jerks to you.  In a related vein, being a “friend” to someone on Facebook and then being a complete jerk to them.  Perhaps no one ever explained the concept of social networking to you.  It’s a place to connect with social acquaintances and friends, not a place to add people you don’t know or don’t like in order to trash them in a public forum.

That really brings me to something that makes me mad about my generation.  There is no sense of decorum.  It has gotten to the point where people just think there are no ramifications for their actions.  These teenagers and young adults think they can say whatever they want to because there is not any danger of repercussions.  Honestly, it frightens me.  I have often said I think there needs to be a companion to the “like” button called “punch.”  Something to illustrate what would happen if you said the things you say online to someone in person.  But I’m getting off topic…

2. Any person who has watched a loved one die of a certain disease state who then proceeds to partake in exceptionally risky behaviors that relate to that same disease state.

For example, people who have had loved ones die of cancer and / or lung disease who then decide it’s a good idea to take up smoking.  Really?  Like really?  That seems like a good idea to you?  When you think back on the hours spent watching the person you love dying in a hospital bed, not being able to gather enough oxygen into their body for it to function properly because their lungs are too weak, you think that seems like good times?  You want that experience for your kids too?  Just how sadistic are you, exactly?  
In order to dispel any potential confusion, I’m against smoking in any instance but situations like the aforementioned really confound me.

I'm sure there are other situations that I am just forgetting at present so these are the only two I've got.  I'll make sure to write again if I think of others. 

Monday, March 4, 2013


So can anyone out there in Internetland explain to me how this image aligns with the thing it is supposed to be advertising?  Be a counselor, you get to have weird ass hair!

But seriously, I've got nothing.  Sometimes I wonder if Facebook even looks at the ads it it posting.