Friday, December 14, 2012

That Drug Test Was So Random.

What do you think the chances are that the youngest employee (who hasn't even been full time with the company for a year) would get chosen for the random drug test?

If you guessed 100% you are correct!  I was subjected to my first random drug test yesterday.  Can I just say that, at my company at least, these situations are super intense!  Basically, my boss got an email and I had 30 minutes to get to the clinic.  And as I told him, this was not enough time for me to go buy any sort of detox product!  Serious troubles for those regular recreational drug users.

Anyway, considering the fact that it takes probably 3-5 minutes to fill out the necessary paperwork and another 17-20 to get to the location you can see how you might have a pretty stressful situation on your hands!  Luckily, I finally got a phone with GPS on it so I did not get lost on the way. 

I won’t go into details about what happened during the whole thing because you probably can figure it out.  My favorite thing though was when I came back and one of my coworkers IM’d me.  The conversation went something like this:

Coworker: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I told HR to draw your name because I think you’re a huge stoner lol. 
Me: That is so rude! 
Coworker: I also told them you have vodka in your water bottle. 
Me: Ugh. Seriously, I can’t tell you anything…

I do feel it is important to note that I don't actually think my age had anything to do with it.  There was an older guy there too so we were clearly spanning demographics. 

Monday, December 3, 2012

Reasons I Will Be Angry if the World Ends This Month

1. I'd never get to do the whole soul mate, marriage, kids thing.  I mean this is not exactly a pressing concern for me at the moment but I'd be super bummed if I totally missed out on it.

2. These are all sort of related so, I wouldn't get to know:

  • Who the mother of Ted's kids is.
  • Whether good triumphs over evil / whether Regina stays good.
  • Whether Max and Caroline get their cupcake business.
  • If Michelle stays in Paradise or goes back to Vegas. 
  • Who all is on the "A Team."
  • Which brother Elena ends up with.
  • Whether Leonard and Penny end up together. 
  • What happens with the girl Dr. Reid is talking to.
  • Whether Dexter and Deb work out their relationship / how his whole "living as a serial killer" thing ends.
  • If Hannah Horvath ever writes her book.
  • If Jess and Nick end up married. 
  • Why Chloe is so bonkers / if June ever gets another real job and ends up with Mark.
  • If Girl Meets World will be awesome or a total flop.

Side note, since graduating college I have started watching WAY TOO MANY shows. 

3. I'd never get to rent a car or pay less for my car insurance.

4. I'd never get to have nieces and nephews to spoil.

5. I would not get to read all the books on my "to-read" list.

6. And in a related vein, I wouldn't get to know how all the series I've started would end.

There are probably tons more things I'm not thinking about but these are the ones I can think of now.  I'll update the list if I think of anything else really major.