Saturday, April 30, 2011

Well folks, it’s almost that time.

Finals, for many, this is “crunch time.” The masses flock to the library, freshman barter flex dollars for study rooms, the kids with Ritalin or Adderall prescriptions are given opportunity to make up all the money they had to spend on books for the semester, and BUPD is called in to calm down the girl twitching in the corner all hopped up on highlighter fumes.

Yes indeed, it’s a wonderful time to be a college student. I’ve found the key to sanity though and now I’d like to share it with you. While everyone else is hitting the books I hit the snooze button, as opposed to looking over all of my notes I look at all the Youtube videos I’ve heard are funny throughout the semester, basically instead of studying I procrastinate.

This system is not foolproof however, its positive effects only last an average of a week. Then one of three things happens, 1. You blow your own mind by exhibiting brilliance on your finals even though you never studied for them. (this is not a likely outcome but feel free to dream) 2. You scrape by and feel a slight twinge of shame and promise yourself you'll do it differently next semester. (probably the most common outcome) Or 3. You fail abysmally and are forced to take a long hard look at your life choices (although if you fall into this category you will probably choose to look at the video parody of “Friday” or the “Numa Numa” kid instead.)

This being said, I only recommend the use of this system for the amount of time you can handle it. So, you need to balance your assumed knowledge with your assumed ignorance, then divide the time until your exam by your speed-reading ability, and probably factor in some time for sleep. Then you’ll know how much time you actually need to study in order to get an acceptable grade.

As for me, I’m going to post this blog and then drink wine and study with my friend M. We think it will be a good system; I’ll let you know the effectiveness for sure when grades come out in a few weeks.

Good luck all!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter!

Clearly this is what the day is all about.

Lets Be Real

I checked the weather today and legitimately started to wonder if the radar over at Weather Under Ground is broken. Seriously, it has looked basically the same for the past week. Covered in greeny, yellowy, and sometimes redish blobs. Additionally it always seems to be coming from the same area on the map.

How long is this storm front exactly? I’m about over it. All I have to say is that if the whole world floods again I hope unicorns somehow get to make a comeback when it dries out.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

A Brief Update

Well it’s been a few days, and an active few at that. My 21st birthday has come and gone and I’m going to tell you everything I remember about it...

No, I’m totally kidding, I remember it all. We started out at Applebee’s because we’re just cool like that and then headed to Brothers, Landsharks (for my free bucket of rum and shark!), and finally The Vogue (where we were made to leave my squeaky shark in a box because apparently it could have been used as a weapon). I’m officially in love with Retro Rewind, even though music from my teen years is apparently considered “retro.” All in all a good night, although I do have slightly unrealistic expectations about how a shark will act slash sound if I ever encounter one.

Additionally, I accepted an internship, at the place with the fake coyote, and I’m pretty excited about it.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The During

When we last left our hero (namely me) she had just successfully turned in a ten page long paper that she had both written and delivered whilst in the throes of the most intense flu of the season.

I get back to my apartment and walk up all the stairs to the fourth floor, at this point I am almost crying from a. pain, b. being so out of breath, and c. general patheticness. I open the door, get a drink, go to my room, take two Advil cold and sinus and two Ibuprofen and promptly pass out.

When I wake up approximately four hours later I am feeling slightly better, I can breath through one nostril and my muscle aches are dulled. I thank (insert your deity of choice here), get out of bed and start getting ready for my interview. Did you remember that the last post was not even the whole story? Because it was so so not. It gets much better...

I somehow manage to shower, do my hair and makeup, get dressed in my grown-up clothes, and get directions to the location of my interview before the almost crippling fatigue hits me. I literally tip over onto my bed mid Google mapping. Not one to be daunted though, I do the responsible thing, grab my bag, walk downstairs, get in my car, and proceed to enter traffic in my vertigod state.

Once in the car with the radio on it becomes quite evident why my coordination and balance are even more off than usual, my ears are so plugged that I can’t really hear anything. Awesome. At this point though I’m already in my car and were I to turn back I would have to go back up all of those stairs, and really, driving in a semi lucid state on 465 seems like the better option.

I drive along scenic 38th street until I get to the ramp for 465; it is then that I realize I don’t know if I am supposed to go north or south, I choose north. I choose wrong. I do a fun little loopy thing and get going the right way; all goes surprisingly smoothly the rest of the trip. I arrive at my destination and pull into a parking lot labeled “visitor parking.”

At this point I’m feeling pretty darn good about myself, I have navigated Indy and made it here safely all while my body and senses are actively conspiring against me. I enter the building closest to the lot and find myself in a vestibule with one new door. It is locked. I look around a bit trying to figure out what to do but am baffled. I decide to call my interviewer, even though, if you’ll remember, I can’t really hear. He informs me that I am across the street from where I am supposed to be, parallel to the building if you will, I don’t have time to contemplate the irony though because I am only about three minuets early and need to get to the right place.

I walk across the street to the other building and literally jump and do a little scream. Because some genius put this thing right by the entrance! Now let me tell you something about this fake coyote, its eyes, they move! As does it’s body in the wind. It was windy! Remember that all my senses at this point are off as well. Basically, I thought this was the end. I thought I had made it so far and now it was all going to end with me being mauled to death by a coyote in the middle of Indianapolis.

But then I realize the coyote is not moving towards me. Additionally it looks a little like plastic. Additionally I feel like an idiot. I walk to the door, meet my interviewer, and proceed to have a relatively normal interview considering the fact that I am probably yelling due to my slight deafness and I likely sound like Fran Drescher. They must have liked something about me though (or possibly they just felt very sorry for me) because I got the internship. I don’t know if I will be taking it, but a successful endeavor nonetheless.

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Before

The events of the morning prior to my first internship interview; lets set the scene shall we?

I’m in my bed. I’ve been here for two days. Unable to breath, sneezing several times a minute, muscle aches, chills, fatigue, overwhelming feeling of yuckiness... guess yet? Oh yes, the flu, the day of my very first internship interview and I have the flu. And I’m not talking slight flu, oh no, full blown, all out, balls to the wall, flu.

I get out of bed (because I have to go to campus to turn in a paper). I’m in yoga pants so I figure that’s legit and just throw on a sweatshirt. I grab my keys, one quarter for the meter, my ID, and a ponytail. This is happening.

Once on campus I trek to the library. People look at me like I’m Typhoid Mary. Clearly I have an aura of sickliness resonating from my very being. This is sad to me but I have a mission. I find the one empty computer in the lab, the kid sitting at the one next to me looks like he may cry, I feel a little bad, but I print my paper and get out fast in order to expose as few people as possible. I leave to head to my professors office. I don’t know where it is. Epic. Sad.

I see a passing professor and ask him to point me in the right direction, I’ve been wandering the hallway that runs parallel to the one where his office is located. Slight fail but I persevere! I finally find my professor, I reach out and hand him my paper, he looks at me strangely, clearly wondering why I didn’t just wait to turn it in, in five minuets when class starts. “I have the flu,” I say.

He recoils and my soul dies a little. He looks at my paper as if I’d handed him a vat of toxic waste. “I just printed it,” I say, and he looks relieved. I walk away as he tells me to get well soon. I am not fooled, he’s still trying to calculate the odds that he will get my flu from the paper I held for a full three minutes max. It’s okay though, I can be strong, when you’re a walking virus you have to learn to be independent.

(check back later for the story of the interview)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I'm going to be 21 soon...

So i am going to share 21 facts about myself with the world, I fully believe that once these facts are out there, hunger will cease, peace will be found, and everyone will have sneakers! Or, you know, maybe just like three people (myself included) will be somewhat amused. Fingers crossed.

1. I am named after Kylie Minogue and Sinead O'Connor but my mom picked different spellings of both of their names.

2. I have a serious fear of spiders, hate them, even cartoon ones freak me out.

3. I love canned peas, i sometimes eat a can for a meal.

4. I keep a sewing machine in my dorm room closet.

5. I sometimes imagine what my life would be like as a Jane Austen novel.

6. I have 10,709 songs in my iTunes, it's not enough.

7. I think I own over 500 books, give or take a few.

8. I can turn my feet backwards.

9. I can walk on my knees.

10. I have freakishly long toes, but really.

11. I was voted clumsiest in my high school graduating class, this is a title I am definitely maintaining.

12. I crack my knuckles. A lot. All of them. Toes included.

13. I like to do things that are moderately illegal.

14. I want to be really artistic but I can't draw, it's a problem.

15. I sing at absurd volumes in public places.

16. I do a spastic dancy jump thing when i get excited.

17. I'm still a little freaked out from when i thought about spiders earlier.

18. I am NOT a pharmacy major.

19. I find the color pink to be superfluous.

20. I keep my laundry quarters in a huge Vicodin bottle.

21. I will remember the night of the 20th, I will remember the night of the 20th, I will remember the night of the 20th...

Peace yo!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Well Here We Go.

Who: Kyley Shinead Eagleson

What: My insights and general ramblings concerning the end of my junior year, my first internship, my last year of college and then, you know, life.

Where: Currently Butler University

Why: Because it seems like a swell idea.

When: Now, Then, Anytime.