Friday, March 15, 2013

Absurdity might be Hereditary

Sisterly Love folks.
Sleep doesn’t appear to want to make its way into the cards tonight.  This is quite annoying but I decided to try to make the best of a lousy situation by blogging.  My sister and I frequently have amusing conversations and recently there have been several.  I’d like to share a few with you now…

Nikita: I just passed the most bodacious sign!
Me: What?  What was it for?
Nikita: It wasn’t what it was for, it was what it said, it was just super bodacious.
Me: I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
Nikita: Yes it does! The sign made a bold statement, it was bodacious!
Me: Pretty sure you mean audacious.
Nikita: No, it was bodacious.
Me: Generally billboards aren’t bodacious, asses are, but not billboards.  You know, like "good gracious ass is bodacious!" 
Nikita: No, this sign was bodacious.
Me: I think you are very confused.

Nikita: I don’t think I have any milk.
Me: That’s a bummer.
Nikita: Yeah, I was just looking at all this cereal I have and thinking I should eat some but I don’t have any milk.
Me: It’s a shame because that’s not really something you can substitute…
Nikita: It’s really not.  I’m going to eat a cosmic brownie.
Me: Thaaaat’s the healthy alternative.
Nikita: I know.

Me: You know Heritage has a location in North Carolina.
Nikita: See, if I move here you totally could too!
Me: I think it's in Coolidge.
Nikita: Is that near Chapel Hill?
Me: No... because that's our Arizona location, dumb. I meant Charlotte.
Nikita: That's not close to Chapel Hill... But it is closer to Chapel Hill than Indianapolis.
Me: Very True.
Nikita: Plus, how will our holiday plan ever work if you don't live in the same state as me?
Me: Why is is my responsibility to relocate to the state you choose?
Nikita: Becau-... Yeah, I was going to try to come up with a reason but I've got nothing.

Nikita: I don't want to check to see if there are clothes in my dryer.
Me: Why not?
Nikita: I don't want to fold them.
Me: Ohhh, so this is like a Schrödinger's cat sort of situation and you don't want to have to clean up a dead cat?
Nikita: Not exactly because the cat might not be in there.
Me: Like maybe Schrödinger set up the whole experiment but forgot the most important variable?  Damn that Schrödinger, he always messes things up.  Like his assistants would be all "Are you kidding me with this? You forgot to put the cat in the box?  What the hell, guy?"

*Dryer opening sounds*

Nikita: Crap.
Me: Dead cat? 

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