Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Databases are Evil

Mua-ha-ha-ha Butler databases! I have rendered you unnecessary! I have gone around your roadblocks! I have beaten you and your sadistic ways!

Back-story time…

I’m writing a paper for my econ class about how the Massachusetts health reform effected / is still effecting safety net health care providers. I needed to find a reference that was listed in an article I read so I took to the Butler databases.

Honestly, I’m not even sure why I bothered. In the four years I have been here I don’t think I’ve managed to make them do my bidding even once. But I digress; I went looking and found the article on a database. It would only allow me to see the first 150 words though. I tried expanding the text but it wanted a username, I tried my butler username and it wanted me to activate it, I tried to activate it and it asked me for information I simply don’t have.

Not one to be daunted I called the office of the library people who help with the databases. I got their voicemail.

I called the library and spent a few minuets explaining my situation to the front desk person. She put me on hold in order to go ask her supervisor. She transferred my call without telling me. I got the database people’s voicemail again. I severed all potential ties with the library desk girl.

Then I went to campus; I assumed using a campus computer would solve my problem. It didn’t. I asked one of the library workers. We fought gallantly with the databases, swords, control codes, and hand grenades were involved; we could not make it yield.

Then we had a stroke of brilliance! Aided by the dewey decimal system we located the article in a book entitled Archives of Internal Medicine Vol. 169.

That’s right! I found my information in a book! Take that 21st century technology! You just had your ass handed to you by a printing press.

1 comment:

  1. you probably could have asked your very skilled sister who works with medical databases nearly everyday to help you but as she basically had the busiest day ever and likely won't be getting any sleep tonight she thanks you for not actually asking her for help. goodbye.