Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Things My Dog Doesn’t Understand

But look how cute I am!
Oh Bo, you special little tropical fish, you are so very bizarre. You may remember from my “Meet Bo” post that Bo was at one time an unassuming, quiet, shy, and retiring type of canine. This is no longer the case. He is now utterly crazy and there are certain things which inspire the crazy that just shouldn't. I like to call these things, “that which Bo does not understand.” Let me give you some examples.
1. Bo does not understand the concept of apartment living. He can not grasp the fact that there are other people living in our building and that it is okay for them to come into the entry way and even check their mail should they so choose. He is certain these are dastardly people who will only bring horror upon the casa Bogleson.

2. Bo does not understand how cliché he is. He chases his tail. He pees on fire hydrants. He chases cats. He barks at the mailman. I don’t know how I manged to find such a stereotypical dog.
3. Bo does not understand that neither the mailman nor the UPS man are ax murderers. The way he barks at them / the way he once tried to attack one really leads me to believe he thinks they are. Thus far, however, they have delivered several packages and no attempted homicides so I must conclude that he is mistaken in his assumption.

4. Bo does not understand that my making food has no direct effect on him. He seems to believe that my making food means he gets to eat the food that has been made. Again, such a typical dog.
5. Bo does not understand that I can’t run like the wind. Each and every time I attempt to jog with him he attempts to forcibly pull me into the life of a sprinter.

And lastly… 
6. Bo does not understand that kisses are better in moderation. I sometimes fear he may be tasting me in order to decide if it’s a good time to eat me. He is obsessive with his kisses / licking. It’s borderline OCD.
I maintain hope that someday he will go back to his pre-crazy nice calm self.  Maybe when he turns 40...

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