Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Adventures in Online Dating

So I do online dating. If you’ve ever heard of the site OkCupid, I’m on there. Some of the guys seem like genuinely nice people. Some of them seem like total weirdos. Obviously, I chose to illustrate the weirdo percentage. Read on for some of my favorite messages of the past few months.

“Hi there, I was just wondering if you'd be interested in a Finnish boyfriend? I know that's a straightforward question, but I don't mean that you and I should become a couple right on this very second, I'm just asking if you're open to the idea of a long distance relationship :)” (Nothing better than a boyfriend I’ll probably never meet!)

“Hi the names dylan. Im not saying i'm batman or anything but we've never been in the same room together. I'll let you decide if i am or not lol” (You’re just setting yourself up for trouble here, everyone knows you don’t reveal your alter ego that quickly.)

“Sorry. Youre the first person I grabbed. Guys keep visiting my profile. Does it say Im looking for a man?” (Sounds like a personal problem, dude)

“Hi, you look good.
Do you date dominant/traditonal type men?
Do you have a instant messenger to talk further?
Hope to hear from you” (“You look good” is the new winning compliment of 2013. Spread the word.)

“Hey my name is Bryan I grow medical marijuana and very passionate about it. I always wanted a job that gives me freedom and pays well. I also work in banking right now to show paper income. I also follow a religion Rastafari and seek jah. I don't force religion on anyone just letting you know what I'm passionate about. I can explain more about my religion or growing marijuana.” (The scary part is that I have an 86% match rate with this one.)

“Wow look. You are way to beautiful to be needing the internet to find guys! What's that all about?” (Umm… thanks?)

Obviously I attract the crème de la crème.  I can easily see this becoming a regular thing on my blog.  Winningggg.

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