Thursday, September 8, 2011


Dear Twain Printing Jerkface,

We are not friends. You know who you are. You’re the only other senior in this class. And still, we are not friends. I want to ask you a question, why did you feel that it was appropriate to print the entire works of Mark Twain to the lab printer that only prints one sided? It’s bad enough that you are printing upwards of fifty pages that you could probably buy for $4.99 on Amazon Classics but you have to do so on a slow lab printer that does not have the ability to print on both sides of the page? I mean what kind of tree hating sadist are you?

Now I’m stuck sitting here (you’re already gone which leads me to believe that the last 30 or so pages of your tree killing massacre will just get thrown out) waiting for my papers to print after yours because I don’t want to go print them again somewhere else. Do you know what I could be doing right now? Eating for starters! I do not have time to do so on days like this because I come straight from work. I would have loved to go get some nourishment, but no, I’m stuck here, listening to your stuff print off. Hoping against hope that the printer can get to mine before I have to leave for my next class.

I know you’ll probably never read this, but I simply don’t care. I’ve got nothing better to do while I sit in this cold empty lab than write this letter to you. I hope you're happy, evil printing person. Additionally, I hope karma bites you in the butt!


Your New Nemesis

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