Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Levels of Hipsterism

My sister thinks I am a hipster, she tells me so on a semi regular basis. I do not think I am a hipster, I tell her so on about the same time frame. All of this aside, the other day we were discussing hipsterism and how it effects our lives. We came to the conclusion that our little brother is probably a hipster, that I exhibit some hipsteresque qualities, and that Nikita is a scientist observing hipsters in their natural environment. She came up with a pseudo-list of qualifications.

For starters, it is important to note that if you are so hipster that you actively identify yourself as a hipster, you’ve gone too far and your lifestyle is no longer ironic. You have reached hipster burnout. This is a place you never want to be.

If you don’t need to wear glasses but you own one pair of thick black frames you’re okay. If you own three or more pairs of thick black frames, you’re a hipster.

If you buy all of your groceries at places like Whole Foods, Fresh Market, or Trader Joe’s, you’re a hipster. Supplementing basic groceries with items from these stores however does not qualify you.

Shopping at the grocery stores listed above leads you to our next hipster realization. You most likely don’t even eat the food you pay so much for. It is way more ironic if you pay too much and then donate the food to starving children. Even better though, if you donate the food to obese children! So much more ironic.

Hipsters have a rather distinct fashion sense. Nikita and I decided that this is not a choice. Rather, they spend so much money on their whole foods that they cannot afford to buy new clothes so they shop at secondhand stores. This is a totally acceptable thing to do! You have gone too far however, when you begin buying new clothes, throwing them away, and then going through the dump to “re-discover” them a few days later.

Lastly, my sister and I both blog (if you're reading this than clearly you know I do but I digress). We have decided blogging is fine, but if blogging is your main form of communication and/or social interaction, you guessed it, hipster.

This is my sisters blog, it talks about pharmacyness, sometimes it's funny but sometimes it's not:

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